Thanks and No Thanks: Approaching the Holidays

As I decided on the topic for this blog, I am reminded of the many years of holiday seasons that have come and gone where we have reviewed how to be sensitive to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities during the holiday seasons. Messages are conveyed to be mindful of the losses that so many have suffered around the holidays. Reminders of promises un-kept, wishes unmet, and dreams unfulfilled. As most of you know who are taking the time to read this blog, these are important factors to keep in mind, no matter the time of year.

This year, as I collected my thoughts, I went out searching in cyberspace for thought and inspiration and I came across two other blogs in particular that caught my attention. These blogs, written years apart, both focused on some often overlooked ideas about what people with disabilities have experienced and some perspective on what they may not be entirely thankful for.

In the blog, “10 things People with Disabilities Shouldn’t Have to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving” by WheelerWife; Nov. 27, 2013, she writes:

“… there are basic needs and rights we all enjoy that people with disabilities shouldn’t have to say “thank you” for. This list is not aimed to portray a ‘negative’ perspective but rather my hope is that this list will provide some insight into some situations and facts of life that many of us with disabilities struggle to conquer and overcome without having to be grateful.”
WheelerWife

I found this to be interesting. While we are taught and told to always be grateful, there are certain rights that perhaps we tend to take for granted and are not always considered in our list of ‘thanks’ during this time of year. We say we are thankful for our family, loved ones, blessings, plenty to eat, a roof over our heads, etc… but when was the last time anyone gave thanks for accessibility, simply being able to access a workplace, place of worship, or a place to do some shopping? What about giving thanks for being able to have a voice and opinion that is listened to and considered with seriousness and respect? Even to know that when a person with a disability is on the receiving end of a kind gesture, or has accomplished something to be proud of, that they are revered with respect based on accomplishment and kindness, and not a sense of pity or being awe-inspired because the person overcame disability.

Additionally, in another blog entitled, “Giving Thanks” by Emily Ladau of the Center for Disability Rights, NY, she writes,

With Thanksgiving upon us, I find so many reasons to feel gratitude towards the many incredible parts of my life and people around me. One thing I try to remember, though, is that even in celebrating all that I have to be thankful for, I cannot take anything for granted… as you reflect on what you appreciate most this Thanksgiving, there is still much work to be done, and much for which we cannot yet be thankful.
Emily Ladau, wordsiwheelby.com

Emily reminds us that the work in disability activism and the fight for equality and civil rights is not finished by any stretch. In fact, while there is much to be grateful for, there is still a long way to go. She goes on to write about the things that she is not thankful for including those who are only offered employment in sheltered workshops earning below minimum wage and how those who still reside in institutions remain without families or apart from loved ones in the community. She points out the times people with disabilities have been excluded, blocked or not provided the opportunity to participate in life experiences. And she is especially not thankful for anyone who still does not see or recognize that the lives of people with disabilities are valuable and important, just like everyone else’s.

And yet, despite all the slights and exclusions and mistreatments, Emily still finishes with recognition of all the reasons she does find to celebrate. And so it is, this Thanksgiving and holiday season that we do give thanks, for the great many blessings that we do have. For the relationships that we have in our lives, with friends and families, co-workers and perhaps, if we are lucky enough, we have some great relationships with some amazing people with disabilities. Not amazing because they have overcome so much, or because we feel bad for them and all that they have experienced. They are amazing simply because they are. Just like you! You are amazing simply because you are. We at the HCQU are grateful and forever thankful for the amazing individuals who work tirelessly in service for those who are vulnerable, those who have been hurt, those who are struggling, and also in service for those who are rocking it! Keep up the great work – you are appreciated!