Managing Anxiety in a World of Uncertainty

The very nature of anxiety is to feel worry about things that may not be within a person’s sense of control. To feel worry even when not being confronted with a direct stressor. To feel worry, worry, worry. It’s hard not to worry these days. There’s a lot to worry about. Too many things to even list. So instead, what we are going to focus on here, is how to deal with that worry. How to manage anxiety, in a world of worry, in a world of uncertainty.

First off, we are going to confront and be honest about the nasty truth facing all of us. There are things in this world that are just beyond our control. Things that we just can’t do much about. And that’s okay. It’s okay to not be in total control. So first, we try to notice all of the statements in our heads or out our mouths about what things “should” be like, what “should” be getting done, how others “should” be behaving, how government “should” be responding. All of these “should” statements lead us down a dark road of judgment, and in the end, discontent, anxiety and depression.

This is called a cognitive distortion. A pattern of thinking that twists our emotions towards fear, anxiety, doubt, doom and despair. While this is a very normal and natural tendency based on the way we have been taught to think and the language we have learned, it is not healthy or even very helpful.

Try this instead, when you catch yourself thinking these “should” thoughts, just acknowledge what you are doing and make a conscious effort to notice the “should” statements you are making. Write them down if you like or feel compelled to really work on managing your feelings. And now, give yourself empathy for having these thoughts and feelings. Say to yourself, “I understand that I am feeling this way because I have needs that are not being met,” and “It’s okay to have needs that are not being met in this moment. It doesn’t mean that they will never be met, but just that they are not being met in this moment. I wonder what those needs are?”

To connect with our own human needs is to connect with our humanity. Once I become aware of the needs I have identified and am connected to my feelings, I can try to identify any strategies that might help me get those needs met. Sometimes, I don’t even need to do that. Sometimes I can just sit in what is called the living energy of our needs. Just sit in empathy with self. This is simply to say, “I am a human being, and to be so is to have feelings and needs – there is nothing more natural than that.” When I am feeling anxious, or worried, or stressed, that simply means I have a need that is not being met in that moment. Maybe it is a need for safety. Maybe it is a need for comfort. Maybe it is a need for companionship or even love. Maybe it is a need for clarity. Whatever the need, it is important to realize that the need only exists in the moment. To have omnipotent clairvoyance and the ability to predict what is going to happen next and how things are exactly going to pan out, is not a need.

Now that you have empathized with your good reasons for feeling the way that you do, you can start to do things to manage those feelings. One of the best things to do to manage anxiety and feelings of stress is to take some time to focus on your breath and to really tune in to your body, mind and spirit. Breathe in for a count of 1, 2, 3, 4….Pause, Breathe out…1, 2, 3, 4…Pause, Breathe in…1, 2, 3, 4… Breathe out…1, 2, 3, 4.  Do this as many times as you can for as long as you can. If you can do it for 30 seconds the first time, maybe 5 cycles, try to do it for a full minute the next time. If you can do it for a full minute, try to stretch it out so you are breathing mindfully for five full minutes in a row, maybe then 10 minutes, 15 minutes, follow your breath at your own pace.

Another exercise in anxiety and stress management is the body scan. In this exercise, you simply move your attention from feet to head, and notice the feelings in each of the areas of the body. To start, lie or sit comfortably, closing your eyes and take a deep breath in. Shift your attention to the very soles of your feet. Notice what sensations come up for you. Restless, tense, painful, itchy, tingly…Just notice. Now let your attention focus on your whole foot, both feet and again notice what you feel. Breathe in and breathe out. Now move your attention up to your ankles, breathing in and out. Up to your calves. Your knees. Your thighs. Your pelvic area. Your glutes. Breathe in and breathe out. Good. Focus your attention on your abdomen. What does it feel like as you breathe in and out? Focus your attention on your lower back, then your mid back, then your upper back. Your shoulders. Your biceps. Your forearms and hands. Come back up the arms to the chest and focus your attention here. Up your chest to your neck. Breathe in and breathe out. Focus your attention on your face, your jaw, your cheeks, your mouth, your tongue, your eyes, and finally, the very top of your head. Breathe in and breathe out.

An augmentation for this exercise is to add some tension to the areas you are focusing your attention on. This is progressive muscle relaxation. You follow all the same steps as above moving through each region of the body, and when you get to that area, tense it up, flex the muscle as strongly as you can for a count of 10. Then with deliberate intention, let it go! Let all the tension, stress and flex rush out of the muscle and continue to settle for a count of 10 before moving on to the next muscle.

There are times when you are going to feel unbalanced. There are times when you are going to be uncertain about what comes next. There are a lot of things going on that are outside of your control. So I implore you, control what you can. Which is you. You can control you. You can control what you do for self-care. You can control how you talk to others, and what you choose to talk about. You get the opportunity to make your decisions about how you live your life. Maybe we have to follow some rules for the time being to make sure people feel safe. That’s okay. It’s one of our most basic and important human needs. In the same way that I like my need for safety to be met, I can appreciate that others also like to have that need met. Take care of yourself, and in return, we take care of others.