Face it. We All Need Friends.

Image from nonprofit Canva account features several young men and women with different ethnicities and abilities wearing bright colored tee-shirts, smiling and laughing outside under a canopy.

“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.”
Maya Angelou

What gives your life meaning? While that may be a very existential question, the answer can have a lot of different themes. I would bet that for most of us it has a lot to do with connections.

We have many different relationships in our lives. We have our families, friends, co-workers, and maybe even connections from different groups we are associated with in our life. Relationships and connections are what makes our world worth living.

I happened to stumble upon a guide for support staff to help people with intellectual disabilities and autism find those meaningful connections. Many people do not have connections outside of paid relationships. While paid relationships do absolutely serve a role, our goal should not be to be the “friend” of those we support or to be the person who tells them they are loved.

There are several reasons for this. Most paid professionals will not be in the person’s life on an ongoing basis. They may get another job, move, or have a change in their life that stops them from interacting with the person. Likewise, consider the fact that most of us do not gain our primary friendships from someone who is paid to be in our lives. Our relationships come from mutual interests, work, social networks etc. People with intellectual disabilities deserve the same social connections and relationships. I urge you to check out the link to the workbook from the University of Minnesota entitled “Friends: Connecting People with Disabilities and Community Members.” https://rtc.umn.edu/docs/Friends_Connecting_people_with_disabilities_and_community_members.pdf

Strategies

Here are seven strategies to explore.

Identify people who the person already knows and look for ways to strengthen that relationship.
Consider who would appreciate what the person has to offer.
Think of where you might find people who might be interested in the person.
Research different associations and clubs.
Find community locations where people engage in activities the person is interested in.
Discover community places that are friendly and welcoming.
Look for places where the person can fit in just the way they are.

True, lasting, ongoing friendships have been shown to improve both physical and mental wellbeing. You can help the people you support connect with resources, places, and people that may make a life-long difference.